Day 1
The start of my first long holiday since moving here in July coincided with the arrival of my German friend Soeren. Consequently, we marked the occasion by boarding a plane to Tagbilaran on the island of Bohol. Terminal 3 in Manila was packed with holidaymakers heading off in all directions around the Philippines and just about every plane that people were trying to board seemed to be delayed.
The highlight of the journey for me was watching Soeren being accosted by a guard at the scanning machines, when security personnel were most offended to discover that he was packing that most deadly of all known weapons in his bag, an umbrella. Not only was he carrying a small foldable model less than 15cm in length, but he was doing so on an internal flight to boot! The outrage was clearly palpable. So with the X-ray image having given the game away, the bag was immediately searched by a scowling security guard, who promptly despatched with the offending item in the evident interest of passenger well-being and safety.
We then realised with a combination of incredulity and hilarity that he was evidently not the first person to fall victim to such officiousness, as we discovered the existence of a deluge of confiscated umbrellas in a large container in the immediate vicinity of the security checkpoints.
After arriving in Tagbilaran, we proceeded to head for the Bohol organic Bee Farm, situated on the nearby island of Panglao, which was to be our home for the next 5 nights. It felt great to finally be out of Manila and the sight of a travelling Jeepney with around 20 passengers sitting on the roof and another half a dozen hanging off the back told us that we had well and truly arrived in the provinces.
Our accommodation on the farm consisted of a garden bungalow named Langka, which translates as jack fruit. Soeren immediately got to grips with the comfort and respite offered by the large mattress, before we both went to the office in order to enable us to book tomorrow's trip to begin taking in some of the memorable sites that Bohol has to offer.
Day 2
After what turned out to be a short but eventful night due to a blocked and subsequently overflowing toilet, Soeren and I greeted both the rising sun and rising humidity with breakfast overlooking the sea, a setting which offered the perfect start to the day.
I found it something of a paradox, and yet no real surprise, that having been served the most delicious home-baked bread the evening before, our bacon and eggs were instead garnished with a sweet waffel which typifies the unhealthy nature of a large proportion of all food on offer here in the Philippines. It appears that even on an organic bee farm which actively promotes healthy eating, allowances still have to be made to cater for the ever-present demands of this Asian nation's incredibly sweet tooth.
With our stomachs full, we then headed out in the SUV across the bridge back to the mainland and made our way to the tarsier sanctuary, home to the world's smallest primates.
Being only around 5 inches in height, their size was truly incredible to behold. Their eyes were almost bewitching, but I think what I found most fascinating were their hands and finger nails. There are times when I feel I have to stand back and simply admire what nature has created, and this was certainly one such moment. These animals were beautiful.
From the sanctuary we proceeded inland to the Chocolate Hills, so called because they all turn brown in the soaring heat during the Filipino summer months of March, April and May.
It was an extremely picturesque view across the countryside, with numerous contrasts caused by the constantly changing sunlight. However, even here when you start to climb the 214 steps leading to the viewing outpost, you can't escape from some of the Philippines' more questionable attributes.
Our tour then incorporated a lunch river cruise which at times was so bad, it was positively entertaining. Whilst waiting to board the craft, we were treated to a never-ending rendition of tunes such as Hello Dolly by a group of six old men who looked about as excited as if they'd been playing the same tune for the past 50 years. Indeed, it's not beyond the realms of possibility that they actually had been! The live music on the boat then got progressively worse when a guy started singing with a guitar that I even I could tell was wildly out of tune, and everybody subsequently sought solace in the buffet on offer. No member of the crew seemed even remotely interested in the fact that passenger numbers onboard clearly surpassed the absolute limit of 40 stipulated in the safety certificate, though in all probability the fact that the expiry date had been blacked out presumably rendered the certificate invalid anyway. With a painful rendition of the CCR classic 'Proud Mary' then resounding in our ears, we tried our best to ignore the audio torture by focusing on admiring the passing landscape instead.
Eventually things brightened up from a musical perspective when we neared a jetty protruding from the river banks lined with coconut palms. As we approached we were relieved to be serenaded by a choir of lilting female voices drifting out across the water which thankfully prompted our very own music man to give his vocal cords a rest.
As we docked we were greeted by approxiamtely 15 women in traditional costumes all strumming ukuleles and singing, accompanied by women on their knees banging long poles against the wooden floor in time to the music.
We tourists were encouraged to join in and inevitably some duly obliged.
The river cruise was followed by a visit to two of Bohol's most famous tourist attractions, the Ladybody Marimar together with his charge Prony, the 23-foot-long python.
Inspired by such icons to sail close to the wind, I ventured into the cage myself to get a closer look at Prony.
As a reward for my audaciousness, I was hoping that Marimar would then personally model his most fetching snakeskin bra and panties for us in the flesh. However, all we were treated to instead was a brief peep into his fashion accessories wardrobe and it didn't make for pretty viewing.
With the catwalk parade over for the day, all that remained was to stop off at Baclayon Church in Tagbilaran, which is one of the oldest in the Philippines that still remains standing today.
Day 3
My third day began with a wake-up call at 4.15am in order to be up in time to join my friend Di and her dad Conrad dolphin watching.
After a short motorbike ride to Bohol beach club, it was impossible not to feel at peace in the tranquil surroundings whilst waiting for the sun to rise.
When it did, it was obvious that it was well worth sacrificing a few hours sleep for.
As we transferred boats and headed out into the bay, my expectations weren't great. However, our skipper Ernie evidently knew the exact spot to wait in and it didn't take long before dolphins started to appear on the horizon and then swim right alongside the boat.
More and more started to surface and at times it felt almost like a dolphin show, as whole schools would clearly be visible only a short distance from where we were sitting. At times they even jumped out the water in unison swimming four abreast. It was breathtaking.
The dolphin spectacle over, Di decided to catch some rays perched on the bow of the boat as we made our way towards the island of Balicasag.
Upon arrival, the snorkels and masks came out and I braved my fear of the water by putting on a lifejacket and with the help of the deckhand Peter, followed Di into the water.
The water was extremely clear and one or two of the fish that were swimming around the coral reef just a few metres below were spectacular. Once I'd eventually overcome the worst stages of my anxiety, it began to get a little more enjoyable, although as always I was relieved to get back on the boat and discuss political history with Conrad.
After returning to Bohol Beach Club we were treated to some traditional Philippine local attractions.
Soeren joined Conrad and myself for a beer after his diving adventure was over and after a long afternoon nap, we took our final walk of the day along the beach, with the setting sun disappearing over the horizon.
Day 4
Soeren and I decided to follow our day in the ocean by hiring a car and touring the island to take a much closer look at the wonderful old churches that Bohol has to offer. We certainly weren't disappointed.
Our first stop was Panglao church not too far from the Bee Farm, where we arrived just as a wedding ceremony was about to start.
Still on the island of Panglao, we then proceeded to Hinagdanan Cave, which was incredibly humid despite its location underground.
Back on the island of Bohol, we then stopped off at a number of beautiful and historic places of worship at Alburquerque...
...and at Loay, with its incredibly ornate ceiling...
... and tower dating from 1822.
At Loboc, we returned to the scene of our lunch river cruise on day 2...
... and at Sikatuna, we visited our first church which was built by the Filiponos and not by the Spanish.
Our final visit of the morning was to Maribojoc, where the church is directly adjacent to a public school...
... and shortly after, we stopped for a late picnic lunch at the 18th century Punta Cruz watchtower which was built as a lookout post to warn against pirates along the coast.
The afternoon began with a visit to Loon church...
... the church at Calape...
... and an unforgettable tour of Calape market...
... which ultimately proved a failed attempt to initiate us into the acquired art of Filipino culinary specialities.
The food on offer at the market at Tubigon didn't fare much better either when it came to whetting our appetites...
... but then unlike Calape, Tubigon market didn't have a bakery selling authentic Choco-germans for just 1 Peso as its saving grace!
If you want to get around the island of Bohol...
... then a trike seems to be the most popular means of transport...
... unless of course you prefer to travel in real style...
... by riding on the roof of a Jeepney!
Meanwhile Soeren and I ended our day with a trip to a tacky private resort overlooking the coast and the outskirts of the Chocolate Hills. Whilst there I couldn't resist entering into the spirit of things by striking up a typically Asian pose to imitate the locals. When in Rome as they say....
